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Nurvingiel and Spomonie walked into the MSTing room, supplies and overheads in hand. Mr Bagging the Mini-Balrog followed at a leisurely pace, eating an egg raw.
S: After the recent horror that we will not name, I've selected a fun little story that will remind us of the good 'ol times – MSTing "Never Again".
N: (nostalgic) Those were the days.
S: Incidentally, you're cut off from picking the stories for now.
N: Fair enough. I brought supplies: tea and cookies for us and eggs for Mr Bagging.
At the mention of tea, Mr Bagging caught up to Nurvingiel and looked at her hopefully.
N: Er, I'm not sure what you want Mr Bagging. Maybe a fangirl at the end of the fic?
Mr Bagging grinned evilly. Nurvingiel and Spomonie took their customary seats, badfic shining from the projector.
S: On with the fic!
La La
By Shimegami
Warnings: Yaoi(Slash for all you non-anime peoples)
N: Well la-de-da anime elitist.
S: (confused) I knew what that was. Now I'm worried about the fic though.
, Angsty
N: So there will be much weeping and cursing of Sauron.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
S: We won't sue if you don't Sue.
N: Nice! (they high five)
AN: Woo! An A/L yaoi/slash ficcie!!!
N: What's a ficcie?
S: (hopefully) Can we eat it?
XDXD!
S: The next Final Fantasy game!
The song "La La" is by The Verve Pipe (anyone remember them
N: I have a feeling we will all too well after this.
?? o_O;;;;)
S: Ugh. That's how I feel right now, without all the semi-colons.
N: She needs to share those with less punctuation-gifted fanfic writers.
and it's a really good song.
N: (author) At least it was until I mangled it with this horrible story.
It's very haunting
S: It will make scary noises in your attic.
and sad, and somehow fits Legolas and Aragorn really well.
S: (Legolas) These XD-sized T-shirts fit like they were tailored!
N: Wait a minute, Legolas and Aragorn? I thought you said this was like "Never Again"?
S: Oops, I thought it said Legolas and Arwen. (sheepishly) I skimmed… um… a lot.
N: Well, it's no worse than any other out of character romance. You're going to have to read these fics a bit more thoroughly Monie.
S: (grinning) What, and go insane like you?
XD;; Yeah, and the lyrics are the lyrics from the song.
S: (sarcastic) No, really? I thought they were the lyrics from the kitchen cabinet.
Setting is kinda when they part ways after the books. And it's written all weird.
N: (sniggers) I'm sure we'll agree.
La La
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
S: The squiggly paragraph break must indicate the lyrics.
N: (rolls eyes) Let's get this over with.
With everyone around us singing la la,
N: (People) Lala, we don't know any actual lyrics.
we slid out of their view
S: And down the drain.
Then you thought you heard me singing la la, but I don't have the strength to
N: Die?
S: Write a story without borrowing half of it from a song?
N: Touché.
And from the moment that I give out
S: Raffle tickets
we begin to live out
N: In the wilderness.
Scenes from all romantic prose
S: (Author) That I borrow.
while tethered to the roles
Or what was meant disguised as sentiment could hang
N: On the clothesline.
Misunderstood and left unanswered
N: Note to self, get answering machine.
Your eyes tell me I have what I wanted,
S: Banana Cream Pie.
haunted as I hold you
Nervous slacking
S: Off, instead of studying.
with the lacking heartache, no heartbreak when I told you
N: That's what a lack would imply.
And though I never did surrender could you please remember
N: To buy some milk on the way home.
S: 1,5% please.
If and when we meet again we once were more than friends
S: We're also skydiving partners!
N: (grins evilly) And I made the parachutes.
Embarrassed me but would you share a scene and kiss me
One last time before I leave you
N: At the West Edmonton Mall
S: Never to be seen again.
And though I won't surrender I want you to remember
S: Your multiplication tables.
If and when we meet again we'll still be more than friends
Grant me this it could seem frivolous, but kiss me
One last time before I leave you
You've got all my loving in a tangle, that I could never undo
N: Cobble's Knot
And you will never hear me singing la la
I guess la la means I love you
S: Maybe in some bizarre language only known to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watch him now, like I always do.
N: (Narrator) I have no life.
He's so beautiful. It pulls my heart in a way I thought would never be.
He stares at me, bright elven eyes indecipherable and fair features unscrutable.
N: The unfair features were highly scrutable.
But I can still read the silent sorrow there.
S: As the sibilant sounds stabbed my senses.
The kind that that is like glass. It is transparent; it isn't really there, he is not feeling it. But his eyes are haunted with shadows of it just the same.
I wonder if Elves feel emotions.
S: (Elf, singing) If I only had a heart…
N: (Narrator, singing) If I only had a brain…
We seperated
N: Eggs
Mr Bagging: (looks excited)
from Gimli for this. We will see each other again, but only on business.
S: Now we will only see each other at Out of Character Anonymous meetings.
We have duties that would get in the way.
And Arwen.
N: Oh, Aragorn must be the narrator. And the fact that Aragorn only loves Arwen will cramp the author's style somewhat.
He seems made of diamonds, so fragile-looking and delicate; yet stronger than all.
There is no heartbreak in his eyes,
S: It's up his nose.
only that endless sorrow of Elves.
N: After all those fanfics, elves would never feel joy again.
I was always drawn
S: As a cartoon
to his eyes. Large and expressive and haunting,
S: With shiny little anime circles.
N: What?
S: Sometime you've got to watch anime with me Nurv.
but they hide all that is important; empty sparkles.
N: (announcer voice) If you were trapped on a desert island with only one possession, what would it be?
S: (Aragorn) Ooh, empty sparkles!
So beautiful.
S: (gags)
We played it all out,
S: And now have no more rope.
N: You pay out rope Monie.
S: Whatever.
the forbidden lovers.
N: Romeo and Juliet?
All with the strange sorrow of knowing that it will never last, and accepting it.
N: (monotone) So glad you have come to terms with this.
S: So there is nothing more to tell. Goodbye!
N: (rolls eyes) Sit down Monie, you picked this one.
S: (sheepishly) Oh yeah.
I draw him close, and whisper softly in his ear.
S: (Trinity) The truth is out there, Neo. It's looking for you and it will find you, if you want it to.
Words only for him. He is totally still, no emotion seems to run in his body.
I always hated and yet loved that aspect of Elves.
S: (Aragorn) This enigma drove me insane.
N: Or out of character.
When they didn't want you to know what they were feeling, you wouldn't know.
S: Unless the elf is Legolas.
N: (Legolas) I love you Arwen! Crap.
I look at his perfect face, soft chill skin, flawless.
Crystalline.
N: (smash) Oops.
He has tangled my personal life
S: (Aragorn) That's the last time I ask him to double-knot my boots.
for all this time since I first saw him. So beautiful, even Arwen was only barely above him.
I think I prefer blonds.
S: Well that was somewhat random.
N: At least she didn't say "blondes".
Things I could never tell him all rush in silence. He knows things I never will, for he is an Elf, and it is simply how it is.
N: It certainly is! Er, what is?
He'll never hear me say those things. I am not so strong.
I have never surrendered to any enemy, and yet I am almost feeling as if I could cry.
N: (Aragorn) I hate cutting up onions.
If I hadn't lost that ability,
S: On my vacation in Miami
I would be.
If we ever meet again, these feelings will always be there.
N: Behind the chesterfield.
I take his face into my hands;
S: And slam-dunk it.
one last selfish, frivolous favor from him to me.
N: (Legolas) Fine, I'll take your cloak to the dry-cleaners.
,
N: Random!
Last kiss, before we
S: Die!
part ways forever.
He knows that too.
He'll never hear me say "I love you."
N: (Aragorn) Because I love Arwen.
For that is for only me to know.
S: Despite the fact that your hitting on him was totally obvious.
~Owari~
N: Well owari to you too!
AN: That was friggin' hard to write!!!!!
The song fit so perfectly,
S: Actually, it had no relevance whatsoever.
I thought the story itself would write itself.
N: I shudder at the thought of fanfics writing themselves.
S: (Author, staring at pen) I command you to do all my characterization and plot for me!
But noooo, I had to labor over every phrasing.
N: (Author) So I didn't do any characterization or plot.
And it's weird phrasing, too.
S: Agreed.
-_-;;;;
N: Er, yes. You've expressed that you're sad that you had to actually write the story yourself.
*bangs head against desk*
S: (Coach) Gimme ten more! You can do it!
No more listening to songs over and over for me!!!
Reviews?
N: Done.
Flames?
S: Is there a marshmallow roast?
Chocolate-covered bishie?
N: Do I want to know what that is?
S: Probably not.
N: Oh, that's the end of the pointless author's notes.
S: See, that wasn't so bad Nurv.
N: Yeah, if slash is only comparing people to high quality wine glasses, I say bring it on!
S: I suggest… not.
N: Actually, it was fun. Songfics are almost too easy to MST.
Mr Bagging: (grabs the story from the projector and eats it heartily)
N and S: (cheer)
References: "Maniac McGee", by Jerry Spinelli (Cobble's Knot), and the Matrix.
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